Russell Peters Tribute

Some guy from work told me I should check this comedian, Russell Peters, out. Man...his shit is freakin' hilarious! To boot, dude is from Canadia! NO DOOT ABOOT IT!!! Judge for yourself....


ASIANS


BEAT YOUR KIDS


INDIAN ACCENTS

Make One Move, and the Camel Gets It!

Maria,

I have kidnapped your furry friend, Mr. Camel Toe.
Deliver the money, or I will serve your friend at my next BBQ!

*insert sinister laugh*

Facebook Notes

It's a given why our blog crew has been slow...and it rhymes with spacewook. A simple check of my status will update you anyway.

Speaking of 'status'....you gotta love it when people don't understand (or maybe forget) the syntax of the status bar when updating it. How awesome is it when you read that your friend "is loves my girlfriend", or "is needs to relax". Wow. (note to Lili: You get a freebee for 'Lili is "had a bad day"...inside joke) ;)

Another thing that makes me cringe is when people wear their hearts on their status bar. Good gawd...is it necessary to announce to your 300 friends that you're dying from your breakup? Drama queens create awkward moments in person...FB just gives them a medium to do this with a larger group. Nobody likes a status bar drama queen. Maria, can you imagine that 'Birch Run' incident if we had FB back in the day? (i.e. Ferrari is wanting to scratch someone's eyes out...but will jump out of the car and start walking the 100 miles home instead!). (note: Ferrari is a pseudonym for an ex-gf of mine, who is named after a different foreign automobile.)

It's hilarious that each application on FB is being one-upped by other applications. Someone mentioned this before, but is it really necessary to have a SUPERwall or a SUPERpoke as opposed to just a regular one? Don't use that regular wall, because apparently that just isn't good enough! If anything needs to be supersized, someone should figure out how to create the SUPER Happy Hour application!

Lastly....why couldn't I have invented Facebook? I sure as hell wouldn't have turned down the one billion buh to sell it!

~Ditty of the week...I heart 'sausage wallet'.

I'll Take Mish Mash for 500, Alex

~ I have a new summer guilty pleasure. It's called The Singing Bee. It's hosted by Joey Fatone (pronounced FAT-WUN), and contestants have to karAoke (hi mari'er!) the lyrics correctly after the band stops playing. It's funny because I am THE WORST at mistaking (let alone remembering) lyrics. While Lili, on the other hand, can rattle off the words to any rock or classic song no problem. Although, she did once think that Gwen Stefani was singing, "Cause I ain't no harlem black girl. Cause I ain't no Harlem black girl". Needless to say, we have a hoot watching this show.

~ Speaking of bees...About a month ago, I ended up switching channels between The National Spelling Bee and Game 5 of the Pistons/Cavaliers playoff series. I have to admit, the spelling bee is quite tense and nerve-racking. I can only imagine how I would cope if that was my kid up there. The winner was quite an eccentric character (to say the least). He's a cross between Good Will Hunting, Akeelah, and Rain Man. I hate him.

~ I'm looking forward to driving up north in August. It's my friends' and our 2nd annual Couple Golf/Wine Weekend Retreat. Last year we did White Oaks Resort in the Niagara Falls region. This year we rented a 5 bedroom chalet atop Blue Mountain (not to be mistaken with Brokeback) in Collingwood with a few other fellow yuppie-couple friends. It's a fun time. I can see someone misinterpreting this as a 'swingers' outing. Well....mayyyybe. ;p High-five to my main squeeze, Lili, who got us a $200 discount by flashing her titties to the owner. That's my girl!!!

~ On a serious note...I was extremely enraged to hear that two of my friends (from my theatre group of friends) were jumped outside a Gay Bar last Saturday. One of my friends was walking his girl friend to her car, when out of nowhere 2 guys (hopped up on drugs) attacked him. They were actually going to punch the girl, but he purposely stepped in the way to protect her. His partner (I'll call him D), waiting 15 feet away, bolted over and, to say the least, took care of matters. The attackers picked the wrong guys to bash, because D is a 3rd degree black belt in Martial Arts and had fought in the Olympics. He had so much rage, that he smashed one of the guys faces off a set of nearby railroad tracks and threw him down a hill. He then gave a karate high kick to the other guys face, and the punk took off.
D had ran back to his truck and was literally going to run those guys over and kill them, but some other people stopped him from going too far (personally, I would have run them over too). This is the justice or positive swing to the story (other than my friends not having any serious injuries), but what gets me is that the bouncers and bar owner did absolutely nothing to help, and the cops took 40 mins to arrive on the scene. The police and EMS weren't even professional about the matter. They lauded D for his fighting skills, but they didn't defuse the situation very well and made inappropriate comments (i.e "oh, it took us long to arrive because we were on our lunch"...nice!). I can't believe all the different levels of bigotry that still goes on. It's sad, really.

~ I can't finish my blog entry with a negative, so I'll go on with another anecdote...
I Finally saw Transformers last weekend ("finally"?...it had only been out for 5 days). [ have you noticed I 'Inner Monologue alot?? That, and abuse the "..." way too much]. ANyways, where was I? Oh yeah...Transformers was flippin AMAZING! Cheesy cliches and Armageddon moments aside, this movie rocked the mic right! I wasn't looking for depth of characters or story line, I was just looking to enjoy the action scenes, mixed in with cool cars, hot chicks, and tongue-in-cheek humour. It was awesome. Lili had a special connection to this movie that was close to her heart. Back in the day, far removed from her current Mercedes-lexus having ways, when she was a wanker (i.e. big haired, Metallica lovin, rock-on finger pointer with tongue wagging, lighter waving, rocker chick), she owned a Camaro. I still tease her and call it an IROC (Italian Reject Out Cruising or International Ride of Chaledeans), but she defends the love for her old Chevy. She was quite disappointed when she looked into test driving a Camaro, and found out that it was only a proto-type at this point. But she does lose BIG TIME cool points, cuz after the movie she asked me a question about "Opus" and "Jazzy". WTF???!!!

Montreal VS Sydney

Lili and I were in Montreal last weekend. I must say, I have never had a bad time there. My friends are tres excellente. They really know how to show us a good time and get us to experience the great vibe of Montreal. Highlights included a housewarming party with a zillion different wines to taste, followed by 3am drunk golfing at a 24 hour, stadium-lighted course. It's pretty crazy walking off the 9th hole as the sun is rising. Lili spent 4 1/2 hours getting her hair chemically straightened, while I enjoyed the most amazing 1 hour massage by my Russian masseuse, Okzana. No, there wasn't any 'happy ending' (hi, Rhands!). But, I did euphorically gaze at the ceiling after my massage and wondered, "what the hell are those hand rails doing up there??". I guess I overlooked that added option on the spa price list. Old Montreal at night is a blast, especially in the summer time. Everyone is out drinking and dining on different terasses (yes, pronounce 'tur-ASS'...hi, Ray!). The pastries are sick. Thank God, I'm not a diabetic yet. We even saw the 'Body Worlds 2' exhibit at their Science Centre (that's some crazy shit right there). It's just too bad that I didn't retain much of the french I learned in school. It would have come in handy. It's weird being a foreigner in your own country. Here's a few sites from Montreal:

AMAZING patisseries that could put you into a diabetic coma. The chocalitines or chocolate croissants are dynamite!

Me and my $1.50 mini gelato cone. I ordered 3.

The famous Basillique Notre Dame

Taking a stroll in Old Montreal

The girls enjoying 11am Lechee Sangrias on the terrasse (terrace in English)
at Jardin Nelson in Old Montreal.

Maria, do you have a long-lost brother in Montreal that we don't know about???

Well, I decided to do a comparison of Montreal, Canada and Sydney, Australia. I find these two places to be quite similar. I have great friends in both cities, and if I had the chance to, I'd definitely live in either of the two.

	Sydney, Australia	Montreal, Canada
Friends	Wonderful, good natured, goofy, fun, adventurous, hospitable. My friends here call me Brox.	Ditto…or, Une Ditto. Except, my friends here call me Bro (Chris is already taken, and gets very confusing)
Alcohol consumption	Wine lovers. They drink on days ending in ‘day’. They say, “Cheers, mate!” (or is that Cheese tart?). Bunch of fuckin’ drunks. hehehe.	Also wine lovers. Best sangrias, ever! “Happy Hour is anytime you want it to be”. They say, “Salute!” Un paquet de drunks…tabernac! Honh honh honh.
Food	Ethnic food abound. Australian meatpies and sausage rolls kick Chuck Norris’ ass.	Very European. Tonnes of bistros. There is no chocolate croissant better outside of France.
Landscape	Located in tropical weather and next to the ocean, how can you go wrong? Absolutely breathtaking.	Very charming, warm, old-European feel (cobblestone roads and all).
Hospitality	Very, very welcoming. With ‘no worries’ or ‘no dramas’ as their mottos, everyone is so laid back and easy going. People say that Canadians are generally nicer than Americans, but Australians are even nicer than Canadians. They specialize in customer service.	Some of the francophones are a bit snooty towards the Anglophones, especially from Ontario. Maybe it’s the language barrier, or maybe some want to separate from Canada. Customer service is hit or miss, but I found most were friendly. It helps to have French speaking people in your party.
Fashion	Like their attitudes, very laid back. Jeans and nice top is the common wear. You’ll also feel out of place without your thongs (flip-flops) or Tevas.	Everyone and their moms are dressed so damn chic here. I’d go broke if I lived here and tried to keep up with the fashion styles. Most lineups at clubs look like a Zoolander movie.
$$$	Even though my CDN dollar is worth more, mostly everything is much more expensive. I’m not used to spending 10 bucks on toast and coffee (aka Turkish Pide and a Flat White).	Same currency, and very reasonable for a metropolitan city. Sales tax in Canada sucks donkey balls, period!

My 80's Celeb Crushes

No, although the title might suggest it, I do not have a crush on Bea Arthur from the Golden Girls. This is a list of celebrity women/girls from the 1980's that I had 'big time' crushes on ('big time' is such a honky term, eh?). I don't even think I was old enough to whack-off to most of the girls on my list...with the exception of Alyssa Milano, of course. She was in my palm...err...my heart well into the 90's. Anyways, at the time of my infatuations with these girls, I would save any picture I could find (i.e. from Tiger Beat, People, or Pop magazines) and put them up in my room, or on my school binders. I used to dream that they would be my girlfriend. I fantasized that we would neck, I would squeeze their IBT's, and we would give each other hickeys n' shit. Like I said, I hadn't quite reached complete puberty with most of these crushes, therefore I think I only wet dreamed Alyssa.

In no particular order or ranking:

Mary Lou Retton: The summer of 1984 was golden. I remember having vivid dreams about her being my girl. It wasn't until later on in life, that I realized she was basically a disproportionate midget.


Sheila E. : I loved 'Love Bizarre' and my first latina crush. She could bang on my drum anyday.

Marta Marerro: Kids Incorporated was never the same after she left. And the crush wore off by the time she became Martika.


Winnie Cooper: Girl next door syndrome. She's Winnie fucking Cooper...'nuff said!


Alyssa Milano: If I had to rate my #1 crush of all time...it would have to be Samantha Micelli. She was the girlfriend every pre-pubescent teen wanted.

Odds & Ends

Facebook: I joined a couple of weeks ago. I'm not really into contacting people I hardly see, unless I really want to touch base with them. There are heaps of acquaintances that I know on here that I haven't bothered adding as a friend. If they add me, they add me. If not, oh well. No wonder when I did the Heroes personality quiz I ended up being Jessica....the two faced bitch. HA!

Detroit Pistons: I swear I need an Ativan to watch this team play. They never seem to beat anybody handily, and they always have to do things the hard way. It's stressful to be a Pistons fan. Lili hates how I get when I watch a Pistons game and they are losing. I get all zoned out and quiet. My responses are quite terse and I tip the scales on the 'tude meter. Sorry Lili! Lili, btw, is completely enamored with Carlos Delfino (who, I admit, has a great head of hair), and is obsessed with the giant Pistons floor swiffer they use to clean up the sweat (she wants one for the house). Anyways, the season is over now for Detroit as they got their asses served to them by Lebron James and some Cavs. It'll definitely be interesting to see the changes to the roster by next season. I can't wait to "watch NBA" next season! (Hi, Ray!...bahahaha!).

HEROES: NBC Heroes season 1 finished several weeks ago. Most people I talked to about the season finale were disappointed with the way it was presented. I guess I'm just easy to please then...I loved it! Then again, I'm not a comic book and sci-fi geek like some people I know *coughguiaocough*. I decided that if I could be on any TV show, Heroes would be it. Even if that meant having some jacked up Hero power, like the ability to touch my elbows behind my back and wipe my ass at the same time, then getting killed by Sylar in the first minute...I'd do it.

SUMMER Reality TV: This means only 1 thing...So You Think You Can Dance [shoo-be-do-be-dance-dance]. Without trying to sound TOO gay, this is the only show I care for during the summer months (okay..maybe a touch of Hell's Kitchen too). Cat Deeley is hot. The dance routines are killer (I like stealing the salsa moves...now I'm sounding gay). And the rest of the shows are garbage. The FCC should have laws against shitty reality shows like America Has Talent, The Next Best Thing, and House of Carters.

Retro Reminsce

~ I used to hate picture day in elementary school. There was just something wrong with rocking the brown or navy blue, velour sweater with the thick stripe (sometimes 2 tone stripe), and the bowl haircut. A few years I had crooked bangs or missing teeth (or both!).

~ I miss going home for lunch from school, and watching The Little Rascals or The Andy Griffith Show.

~ I preferred Johnny Sokko and His Giant Robot over Ultraman, The Electric Company and The Great Space Coaster over Sesame Street and Polka Dot Door, The Smurfs over The Snorks, Battle of the Planets (G-Force) over Thundercats (Fuck Snarf!), School House Rock songs over anything from Menudo on ABC, and Kids Incorporated over Saved By The Bell (close race…but Marta Marerro aka Martika, I’ll always love you!).

~ I used to wish I was friends with either Richie Rich, or even Rick Stratton from Silver Spoons. They had such cool stuff! I always wondered where that train in the Stratton mansion went to.

~ Speaking of trains, I would have killed to follow Mr. Roger’s Trolley from his house. I mean, the tracks ran from his kitchen to his living room, then through the dry-wall to the Neighborhood of Make-Believe…crazy! I loved the Neighborhood of Make-Believe, but I HATED all the characters in there. King Friday, Prince Tuesday, Lady Elaine, and X the Owl…they all creeped the fuck out of me.

~ I miss my banana seat bicycle. It had a killer braking system which made the screechiest skids ever! Hockey card clothes-pinned to spoke was also a cool modification.

~ I owned a Big Wheel , but it was the Green Machine
that was the cat’s meow.

~ I used to have Atari 2600 which was the advent of video gaming for me and my friends. The evolution of gaming coolness went like this in my day: Atari 2600, Coleco-Vision, Atari 4800, Commodor Vic20, Commodore 64 (Summer Games rules!), Nintendo, then Super Nintendo. After that, availability of video games came much easier, thus ending the nostalgia.

~ Before home gaming, we used to hit the local arcades or convenience stores to play Double Dragon, Wizard of Wor, Joust, Hyper Olympics (Known as Track & Field in the US -- popsicle sticks were the steroids of this game), Pole Position, and Ms. Pacman.

~ My friends and I used to have air-bands. We’d rock out to J. Geils Band, Asia, John Cougar (before he added the Mellencamp), and Quiet Riot. We had bar stools for drums, tennis rackets for guitars, pillows for keyboards, and hockey sticks for mics.

…geez…I can go on forever with this, and I haven't even hit the highschool years yet. I’ll have to do a part II someday.

"Take a bow, the night is over..."

I am slowly coming down from the high of our Miss Saigon run. After all that hard work rehearsing, and performing in all the shows, it's a sad, empty feeling watching that curtain drop for the last time. *single tear*
For the most part, the show was a success. The reviews from the press and from those that saw it were positive. Most importantly, I had a blast doing it. The cast, as a whole, were fun and great to work with. We have our wrap-party this week and that'll be it for Miss Saigon. I'm sure this won't be the last show I do. That darned stage and spotlight sure are addicting.
I hope to have some behind-the-scenes pics up soon. It'll be worth the wait for you, seeing me with a terrible combover wig and Teenz in her Wonder Woman outfit (minus the tiara, magic lasso, and bullet-proof bracelets). You can, however, see her in her invisible jet!

Pic of the Day...Just a snapshot of me in my formative years:



~update~ Those pants that I previously ripped...yeah...The other week I ended up wearing them to work again (by mistake). Unfortunately, I didn't realize the gaffe until I got home. Yup...coin purseage ALL DAY LONG!!! *ugh*

This Is The Hour...

It's been a helluva long ass week, but we finally finished our first weekend of Miss Saigon.
*Rewind to last Tuesday* The technical and dress rehearsals leading up to opening night were tedious (to say the least). There was a bit of a learning curve with the backstage crew which slowed things down [I may end up with a sandbag falling on my head for saying that]. There was even one run through on a dress rehearsal night, where the helicopter was lifted off just a tad early, leaving Chris behind in Vietnam. That would change the whole story just a tad...ya think?! It was pretty funny though.
From what I heard and the audience response, opening night was a hit. The newspaper review will be out tomorrow.
Saturday night was even better according to Lili. Personally, I wasn't feeling it. I was extremely tired and didn't have much energy and focus that performance. I think the whole week of sleeping late and waking up early, plus nervousness, caught up to me. The show went smoother nonetheless...EXCEPT that Kim's mic-pack fell in the toilet when she was taking a piss during the show...so her mic didn't work for her beginning of "I Still Believe". Hahaha...Never a dull night! After the show, we had some late night snacks and drinks with sheilz and wydtung, Teenz, her friends, and her "other-Mr. Snuffaluppaguss" brother (I seriously did not know he existed). It was a fun night of laughter and good times.
Today, our Sunday matinee, was just bang on. I had a great night sleep and finally felt rested. I felt I flowed amazingly on stage today. Everybody sounded great...AND our backstage crew finally ran smoothly.
*sigh* Finally...some much needed rest!

Here's a clip of Teenz at our first dress rehearsal. Pardon the quality, they obviously forgot to set the spotlight...and the director did move the distracting lapdance couple over a bit. Teenz, you rock! Enjoy!



Oh...Before I forget, I have to tell you this backstage story between Teenz and I while we were getting our costumes ready for our bows one night:

Teenz: Can you help me with this?
Brox: [Puzzledly looking at Teenz's unzipped bustier from the back] Sure.
[unhooks Teenz's bra with one hand]
Teenz: [with bra falling off] NO, NOT THAT!!! I need my bustier done up!
Brox: [mortified] I'M SORRY! THAT'S ALL I KNOW HOW TO DO!!!

Music'ings

In about 1 week, the curtains go up for the opening night of Miss Saigon (MS) in my city (City of Compton....hehe, not really there. But that'd be cool, eh? "The Heat Is On In Crenshaw!" or "The Drive-By In My Mind"). Tonight is our last rehearsal at our space before we move in to the Chrysler Theatre this weekend. Then we have a full week of rehearsals right up to opening night next Friday. So yeah...the nerves are starting to fray just a tad. Other than some polishing of certain parts, the show should be pretty good. Can't wait to see some you guys there, after the show! Oh, and please leave your tomato throwing for AFTER the show...thank you! :p

In other music news, I recorded some background vocal tracks last night (along with a bunch of other peeps to create a choir'esque sound) for a song on my friend Daniel's sophmore album. Canadian recording artist Daniel Victor is NWL (Neverending White Lights), which is basically his original compositions sung by other various singers. The first album featured alternative music artists like Nick Hexum (from 311), Raine Maida (Our Lady Peace), Dallas Green (Alexisonfire), Nathan Larson (from 90's band, Shudder to Think), etc. The album did well in Canada, and he's received several awards and nominations for his work. I'm not normally a name-dropper, but since he's the most famous person I know (and the fact that he he's hung out with Ron Jeremy, and Alyssa Milano's ex-husband!), I figure I'd boast a little. So, I will be listed in the CD jacket as one of the "oohs and ahhs people". hehehe

Here's his video 'The Grace', that made it to #1 on the singles and video charts here in Canada. The video features the lovely, and uber talented, indie musician Emm Gryner (1/2 Filipino btw) as the fallen angel:

I love White Chicks!

The MOVIE! I mean THE MOVIE!! Ok, well, maybe love is a tad overstating it....but I do think a few of those scenes are F'ing funny as hell. I caught the movie on TV the other night and had a flashback to our trip to Australia earlier this year.

T'was the morning of Maria and Rhands' wedding. We were at Maria's former flat in Sydney. Maria was getting her makeup done on her balcony. Chris G. grabbed a whistle [in the shape of either a scrotum or a pair of breasts...It could pass for both], and reenacted a dance scene from the movie White Chicks. Those who witnessed this scene (minus the make-up and hair ladies...maybe they were offended???) were bent over in laughter. I hate to say "you had to be there", but you did. This doesn't do it justice (because I think Chris' version was funnier), but here's the original clip. Man, those were good times!


And for good measures, the white chick anthem. Jump in your car, crank the radio, close your eyes, and sing aloud!

I'm a Hero

You know that classic scene in the Superman movies, where Clark Kent sees someone in trouble, he ducks off somewhere, starts to disrobe the Clark Kent persona by unbuttoning his shirt, and the Big S on his Superman costume is revealed? Well [in not so heroic fashion] I did the same thing, but with my pants. I was kneeling down to scrape the barnacles off my patient's nasty legs...then *rrrriiiipppp*...my nurse persona's tighty-whitey clad, buldge-sack was now exposed. Yes, I am SuperCrotch. And SuperCrotch decided [pardon my 3rd person speak] that today would be good day to reveal some of that super power. SuperCrotch busted through an entire seam of Haggar flat-front khakis (*whispers* and they were wrinkle-free!). Well, I'm not sure if my 80 year old patient noticed my coin purse hanging out [for the 10 whole fucking minutes I spent working on her legs!!], or if she was just too kind to say anything. Regardless, I was sweating in total embarrassment, and had to run home to change (I switched to the baggy Izod cargo pants).

*sigh* Now comes the tragic hero's dilemma. I need to find a way to harness this power and use it for good. With great power comes great responsibility. And I believe it is my responsiblity to not allow my patient's to die from a heart attack or stroke (no sexual pun intended) should they come across or witness these beastly powers.

I suppose I can just pull my pants up before I bend at the knees *shrugs shoulders*

~ Here's what I think of this past, long-ass work week!!! Later, bitches! ~



PS...Here's one of my true musical heros, Raul Midon. I'd show my nutsack 1000 times to see him perform live!

brox's blog...take 3!

Ok...
So here is my 3rd attempt at an online journal.

In the beginning there was AsianAvenue. *sigh* Good 'ole AA. WTF was I thinking back then. (earmuffs, Lili) I met 2 chicks from this site back in my post-divorce days. One was a Vietnamese-Rice Boy lovin'-manicurist from Toronto. There is something greatly wrong with all 3 adjectives in that label. 1 double date...I drove a Neon back then...end of story. Yeah.

Then there was the Chinese-Trinidadian 21 year old med student. Attention whore. She showed me her fake silicone bra stuffers (which looked like a pair of pork cutlets) on the first date. The deal breaker was that she loved to eat Ham Yue (chinese salted fish). *gags* That was the last I remember of AA. * *hehe...I just realized that maybe I should have typed "blindfold, Lili", seeing as how she can still read this with her earmuffs on. **

Then there was Xanga. I posted quite a bit on there. My xanga page is still up. The one thing that still remains a mystery to me, is the rainbow on the xanga logo. A little homo-suspicious if you ask me. I was a tad confused as to if I should have been on there or not. Anyways, the novelty of posting for nobody wore off.

Then, there is this period from the present to 4 years back where, in real life, I met this lovely girl, went on a hot date, slept over her house, then never left. She is the ying to my yang. I am messy...she is neat. I can cook...she can clean. I can sing...she can dance. I have an itchy back...she can scratch it. I like silly...she's just crazy. She likes the mouth...I give it. She is the Hong for my dong. I DO!!!! ;) --- Girl of my dreams *check*

So, no more blogging on other people's blogs (sorry, Maria). I'll keep ya'll posted on the 'what's happenings' and stupid things I do, as I see fit. It's shaping up to be a huge 2007 for me, so I'm sure I'll need a place to reflect, announce, or vent.

With that...here's my pic of the day. I was thinking of collabing on a duet with one of these singers...but it might get me into trouble.