You know that classic scene in the Superman movies, where Clark Kent sees someone in trouble, he ducks off somewhere, starts to disrobe the Clark Kent persona by unbuttoning his shirt, and the Big S on his Superman costume is revealed? Well [in not so heroic fashion] I did the same thing, but with my pants. I was kneeling down to scrape the barnacles off my patient's nasty legs...then *rrrriiiipppp*...my nurse persona's tighty-whitey clad, buldge-sack was now exposed. Yes, I am SuperCrotch. And SuperCrotch decided [pardon my 3rd person speak] that today would be good day to reveal some of that super power. SuperCrotch busted through an entire seam of Haggar flat-front khakis (*whispers* and they were wrinkle-free!). Well, I'm not sure if my 80 year old patient noticed my coin purse hanging out [for the 10 whole fucking minutes I spent working on her legs!!], or if she was just too kind to say anything. Regardless, I was sweating in total embarrassment, and had to run home to change (I switched to the baggy Izod cargo pants).
*sigh* Now comes the tragic hero's dilemma. I need to find a way to harness this power and use it for good. With great power comes great responsibility. And I believe it is my responsiblity to not allow my patient's to die from a heart attack or stroke (no sexual pun intended) should they come across or witness these beastly powers.
I suppose I can just pull my pants up before I bend at the knees *shrugs shoulders*
~ Here's what I think of this past, long-ass work week!!! Later, bitches! ~
PS...Here's one of my true musical heros, Raul Midon. I'd show my nutsack 1000 times to see him perform live!
Wow, my comment section was just tag-teamed by the "UNTIE" sisterhood. Those 2 pics are just twisted. Funny, but twisted.
Riss: *gaSp* Where did you find that ass shot of me? And who told you about my secret geriatric fetish?
Maria: Tell me you didn't just google search 'barnacles', [and search as far as PAGE 2!] to find that pic. HAHAHA...I'm laughing because I'm imagining you going through the process of finding that team.
Truth be told, the term "COIN PURSE" was referenced. I'll post my sources [in subscript] next time..hehe.
5 comments:
I am crying at "coinpurse" hahaha.
Probably, you made her day. In the same way this guy made HER day (don't open that at work.)
And it's nice to meet you and your coinpurse.
Wait - when you were scraping off the barnacles from her legs, were you referring to the UMASS Underwater Hockey team, the Conneticut Barnacles??
Coz those boys are all about the coin purse.
Wow, my comment section was just tag-teamed by the "UNTIE" sisterhood. Those 2 pics are just twisted. Funny, but twisted.
Riss: *gaSp* Where did you find that ass shot of me? And who told you about my secret geriatric fetish?
Maria: Tell me you didn't just google search 'barnacles', [and search as far as PAGE 2!] to find that pic. HAHAHA...I'm laughing because I'm imagining you going through the process of finding that team.
Truth be told, the term "COIN PURSE" was referenced. I'll post my sources [in subscript] next time..hehe.
HAHAHA Maz. One can only wonder how hot the 'camera shy' guys were.
Brox, use your power for good and come to NYC for Gay Pride in August. I'll make your superhero outfit using shrimp crackers and dental floss.
that is fucking awesome. FRANKS AND BEANS!!! FRANKS AND BEANS.
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