My 80's Celeb Crushes

No, although the title might suggest it, I do not have a crush on Bea Arthur from the Golden Girls. This is a list of celebrity women/girls from the 1980's that I had 'big time' crushes on ('big time' is such a honky term, eh?). I don't even think I was old enough to whack-off to most of the girls on my list...with the exception of Alyssa Milano, of course. She was in my palm...err...my heart well into the 90's. Anyways, at the time of my infatuations with these girls, I would save any picture I could find (i.e. from Tiger Beat, People, or Pop magazines) and put them up in my room, or on my school binders. I used to dream that they would be my girlfriend. I fantasized that we would neck, I would squeeze their IBT's, and we would give each other hickeys n' shit. Like I said, I hadn't quite reached complete puberty with most of these crushes, therefore I think I only wet dreamed Alyssa.

In no particular order or ranking:

Mary Lou Retton: The summer of 1984 was golden. I remember having vivid dreams about her being my girl. It wasn't until later on in life, that I realized she was basically a disproportionate midget.


Sheila E. : I loved 'Love Bizarre' and my first latina crush. She could bang on my drum anyday.

Marta Marerro: Kids Incorporated was never the same after she left. And the crush wore off by the time she became Martika.


Winnie Cooper: Girl next door syndrome. She's Winnie fucking Cooper...'nuff said!


Alyssa Milano: If I had to rate my #1 crush of all time...it would have to be Samantha Micelli. She was the girlfriend every pre-pubescent teen wanted.